* *


The modest proposal outlined below will resolve the impasse that Europe has become on all sides of the political divide, while simultaneously giving our country a firm foundation on which to usher in the millennium. While the Psychogeographical Cyclists Association would not wish to see the entire United Kingdom severing its ties with Europe, there would be many advantages to much of England opting out of the EC.

What we proposes is that Scotland, Wales, Ulster (we are concerned here only with the six counties that make up Northern Ireland), Cornwall, the Isle of Man and the Channel Islands remain part of Europe. The City of London with the addition of the boroughs of Newham, Hackney and Tower Hamlets should become an independent city state, which may or may not choose to federate with other financial centres in the style of the old Hanseatic League. The rest of Greater London (in the future to be known as Greater Westminster) and England (excluding Cornwall), should apply to join the United States of America. We would also suggest that Winchester be restored as the capital city of England, and that ultimately the seat of American government be transferred to this site.

The writer Jerry Ahern observed in his novel Survivalist 1: Total War that "America isn’t a geographical location, it’s a concept." As such, there’s no reason why our American cousins shouldn’t welcome us with open arms. As part of a republic, we would have no use for the royal family but I’m sure their talents could be put to good use by the various Baltic states that have recently expressed an interest in establishing monarchical systems of government. I hope this plan meets with your approval, I look forward to your response.

Yours sincerely, Stewart Home
Psychogeographical Cyclists Association

This letters was ignored. During the last century even crank letter writers expected polite acknowledgement from the office of the head of British Government. Perhaps somebody was offended.

Light journalism & humour

Stewart Home topless photo by Chris Dorley Brown

Stewart Home tells it like it is...